Screen time has been a point of my motherhood journey where I’ve probably felt the most “mom guilt” for. That’s probably because I’ve never followed “the rules”. Part of the reason I haven’t is because I had access to basically unlimited screen time growing up and I like to believe I turned out okay. I still chose to play outside, had a normal attention span, got good grades, etc. Now I don’t plan to ever give my kids the same access to screen time that I had but I definitely have gone over the recommended amount of screen time with my kids, especially during seasons that were harder (read: pregnancy and newborn life).
I have since gotten more secure about the amount of screen time I allow my kids to watch but I would be lying if I said that I didn’t question if I was doing the right thing every now and then still. I think that’s a healthy thing to do with anything in our lives though because things change of course and sometimes our “rules” need to change with them.
I thought I would first share what our screen time rules used to look like before we got to where we are today. I’m a little hesitant to share because there have been seasons where we have allowed a lot more time than is “recommended” but I have decided to share still because the whole point of this post is that we are allowed to decided what is right for our families. Nobody else should be shaming us for choices that we have decided is right for us. Ourselves included. Please don’t allow yourself to feel shame for something that you have thought through and have decided is right for you just because is isn’t right for someone else.
Screen Time As A Tool
Before I share our screen time rules over the years I wanted to share my mentality of how I view screen time in general. I’ve always used screen time as a tool. I’ve always weighed the pros and cons of it in regards to things that I need to get done vs. the (theoretical) negative consequences of screen time.
So for example, sometimes I really need an hour to myself as a mental health recharge. I sometimes will spend that hour reading or resting. Usually though I will use screen time to get things done that will be significantly more difficult to do with kids interrupting me.
These situations change daily and so for the most part the amount of screen time can change day to day too. More recently I’ve had to learn to follow my gut and to pray through each option on an individual basis rather than just following even my own rules. I’ve learned to have grace with myself. One day they may watch only an hour and on a particularly rough day they may watch three or four.
Our Screen Time Rules When Shane was One:
When Shane was one we started out letting him watch an episode or two of Word Party, which if you haven’t seen is definitely created for one year olds. It teaches kids the names of different categories of things. For example: transportation, body parts, foods. I felt good about it because even though Shane was “too young” according to the AAP, I tried to pick a quality show that taught him things rather than just entertained him.
When he was around 15-18 months or so we started allowing him to watch an episode of Little Baby Bum. Which is basically nursery rhymes that have video. If you aren’t familiar these are about an hour long so still technically much more screen time than “allowed”. Occasionally when he was around 18-24 months we would allow him to watch a second TV show around 15-20 mins in the afternoon too.
Our Screen Time Rules When Shane was Two:
From the time when Shane was 24-30 months, the standard time we allowed for TV was about two hours. He usually watched a movie in the morning and a 25 minute show in the afternoon.
Things changed yet again when he was two and a half because this is when Riley was born. For a short season (about one or two months), Shane was allowed to watch two movies a day or about 3 hours of TV. I look back on this time and have to remind myself not to feel guilty because it was a short season of survival mode. I was nursing Riley a lot and felt bad that Shane was left alone by himself so he was allowed to watch some extra TV.
After we got into a routine with Riley around two months or so we went back to about two hours of TV time and have since stayed that way. For a good while, (probably from when he was about 2.5-4.5) he watched a movie in the morning and another show in the afternoon.
Our Current Screen Time Rules:
So that leads up until now where Shane is four (turning five in January) and Riley is two. We try to keep the limit to be about two hours a day still. We do currently have a newborn again but now that they have each other I don’t feel as badly when I need to spend extra time with the baby.
The one thing that has changed though is that I try to have them watch more quality shows instead of watching a movie every day. Some days we still do watch movies but they are now more reserved for days where I was up late with the baby or something like that.
Some quality shows that teach and are not as stimulating that we love are:
-Wild Kratts
-Daniel Tiger
-Hero Elementary
-Veggie Tales
In the morning we watch 1-3 of these shows (that are about 25 minutes). Then in the afternoon I allow them to watch a more “entertaining” show, such as Bluey or Spidey.
A Disclaimer:
There have been many days and still are sometimes where these limits go out the window. If we are sick I usually allow the TV to stay on most of the day. Other times I really need to get something done that I can’t do with the kids constantly interrupting me so I will occasionally allow them extra screen time that day as well.
Some tips for figuring out how much screen time is right for your family:
- Pray about it and ask God to help you come to a limit that is right for you.
- Talk to your spouse about what they think is an acceptable amount of time for screen time and decide together so you don’t have to feel the weight of it all on your own.
- Remember that these limits are there because the main thing is that it’s most healthy for kids to have enough time to play outside, use their imagination, and interact with you. So the way that I see it is that if they are doing all of these things, it doesn’t matter quite so much the exact amount of time that they spend watching TV.
I know that these limits will change again in the future. When we have more activities out of the house I will likely need screen time less as a tool.
How do you set screen time limits? What do you consider when deciding what is right for you and your kids? I know it is such a personal decision but I’d love to hear from you if you would like to share!
