• Coffee Dates,  Faith,  Life

    Let’s Have Coffee || Vol. 1

    July 11, 2016

    If we were having coffee I’d share with you about how since becoming a wife I have learned how therapeutic it is for me to make dinner at night. It’s just a great way for me to be able to serve my husband in a way that I really enjoy. Tonight I made chicken cutlets and mashed potatoes YUM.

    If we were having coffee I’d be drinking this delicious stuff. We got a small pack from Tommy’s cousin in a pack of stuff for the wedding and it is absolutely the best coffee I’ve ever had. I wish coffee didn’t have so much caffeine because if that was the case I’d be drinking it all day long.

    If we were having coffee I’d share that we just bought a new bed this weekend and it has been the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Hahah just kidding. But really. New beds are the greatest thing ever. I’ve never had one before so I am just on cloud 9.

    If we were having coffee I’d confess that I feel like I’m going to be struggling with this rededication of my faith and bible reading. I am still going to try to commit to reading as much as possible but I just can’t seem to keep my desire up like I used to. It makes me sad because I know I need to stay close to my Father’s loving voice. I just wish it wasn’t such a struggle lately.

    If we were having coffee I’d also confess that I’ve been struggling with anxiety lately. It may sound silly but I struggle with hypochondria sometimes and every ache and pain I get worried is cancer or something else that is going to kill me. I think this is partially because I have realized just how much God is in control and sometimes I struggle that He is really good. I’ve made some progress this weekend though and I’m hoping my rededication to reading my bible and staying close to God’s voice will help a lot.

    If we were having coffee we’d probably end up talking about work because that seems to always come up when you hang out with someone that you care about. I would let you in on what is going on lately – that I am still working a temp job and haven’t worried about whether or not there will be a job for me come the end of the contract because I know that God has my back. I know that He will take care of me one way or another.

    If were having coffee I’d love to know what’s new in your life, what your current fav drink is, and what your struggles are currently and where you’ve made progress because that’s what friends are for.

    PS I have my wedding pictures back and I will be posting soon, can’t wait!!

    I am linking up with Amber and Erin for a monthly coffee date. Join in with us.

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  • Faith

    Rededication

    July 9, 2016

    For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. – 2 Chronicles 16:9

    I have a confession. I do not know what my spiritual life is supposed to look like now that I’m married. Everything feels different. I don’t feel like I can connect to God as easily as I used to. When I pray I don’t hear His voice as easily as I used to. This could just be a dry season for me – before we were married I was consistently seeking God and desired to spend so much time with Him. I don’t feel the same lately and I know we all go through phases and some seasons it is easy to connect with God and others it is harder but being in a new season of life and not being able to connect with God well has been really tough.

    Sometimes I even feel like it’s my fault. Like maybe I’m doing something to keep myself from connecting with God (besides the obvious, not spending as much time praying and reading my bible). Maybe I am living too much for others opinions or maybe I just got lazy because I finally “got what I wanted” being married and all. But I still do desire God and wish to connect with Him like I have before.

    I also think part of it might be because I am not used to having to connect with Him while other people are around. I used to read my bible and pray in my room behind closed doors and now my desk that I normally read at is in our living room so this makes it much more difficult to be alone. Or maybe God is just trying to teach me to try to connect with Him with my husband now. We just bought 30 day devotionals for married couples. I linked the book in case anyone is interested.

    I wrote the bible verse above because this verse convicted me a lot today while I was reading my bible, but also encouraged me as well. Friends, I don’t feel as though my heart is “fully committed to Him” although I do desire for it to be. Like I mentioned in my post yesterday I feel lost and I guess I’m not sure what having my heart being fully committed to the Lord in this season should look like. I am excited to find out though. Especially because this verse says that the Lord strengthens those who are fully committed to Him. I am praying for an increased desire to know the Lord and praying for obedience and discipline when it comes to reading my bible.

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  • Faith,  Marriage

    Lost At Sea

    July 8, 2016

    This is the part of marriage and moving out and starting a new life that nobody warned me about. I was one of those naive enough to believe that it’s mostly just happy things when you get married. And I don’t mean happy things as in bad things never happen to you because I read enough to know that that is just not true. But what I mean is I thought the general state of my life would just be happy because now I’m married and my old problems were gone.

    And don’t get me wrong here there is much truth to that too, but I just didn’t expect the other side to it. Ever since getting married and moving out I just feel a sense of not recognizing my life and feeling very lost. I think some of it might come from literally not knowing what’s coming next. I’ve reached a huge milestone and don’t see the next huge milestone (babies) coming anytime in the near future. But I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety and fear about not knowing what’s next and not being able to just sit and enjoy where I’m at.

    I also think part of this is because there so much excitement and planning that go into being engaged that it’s a huge leap after getting married for everything to just go back to being normal again. (Someone please tell me what I’m supposed to do with all this time because I still do not know!) I’m a huge type A person and love having goals to meet and I thrive when there’s a lot of pressure to get things done. So since we we’re engaged for just less than 6 months, while I was still looking for a job, almost all of my life while being engaged was just pressure and making sure everything got done. And even though there was some crazy stress to that that I have never experienced before, there still was some normalcy to it because even before that there was a lot to do.

    Just 6 months before we got engaged I was going to school full time and working full time so again I was used to having a lot going on. Part of me really does enjoy that. And don’t get me wrong I really do love where I’m at now – being married and living with Tommy has been hands down the most exciting and fun thing that has happened to me. But it is has also been a huge adjustment that I just didn’t realize I would have to make. Who would have thought that finally having a stable home would cause someone anxiety lol? I’m still working through all of these strange new feelings and I think part of it might be that I’m afraid to lose what I have because it is so different and I really do love it so much.

    I’m learning to trust God at this new stage of my life and really lean into Him and believe that He is good always. There is no reason to believe that God would take this all away from me because He is the one who has blessed me with it in the first place. I want to be more diligent about spending time with God, reading His word and praying because I have been slacking a lot with this and I also think that this might be part of where the anxiety is coming from as well.

    What about you? Does anyone else know what I am talking about or has experienced this as well? Please tell me I am not alone.

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  • Faith,  Life,  Marriage

    Thoughts on being a wife

    June 26, 2016

    So tomorrow it will officially be one year of blogging and I think that’s just crazy. Time please slow down. But anyways it’s been just over a month since I got married and it’s been such a whirl-win but really has been the best time of my life.  It’s such a huge change that honestly nothing can prepare you for so I just wanted to write down my thoughts thus far on being a wife so that I have it to remember and also to slightly prepare anyone who might read this who is getting married.

    • There is never a time when something is not planned. Even rest needs to be scheduled in it feels like.
    • There is ALWAYS housework to be done. Always.
    • Living with your best friend has got to be one of the funnest things ever. Going to sleep and waking up next to them has to be the best part about being married.
    • Where do all the dishes even come from?
    • What am I supposed to do when my husband isn’t home? I am so not used to this lol he gets home before I do from work everyday so I rarely am home when he isn’t. Today is actually the first day that I am home without him for an extended period of time and it is weird. (Hope I’m not alone with this one lol).
    • Alone time is important but hard to come by sometimes.
    • Marriage is the most rewarding thing on the planet if you are doing it in God’s design.
    • Loving my husband by cooking and cleaning has been the most satisfying thing ever.
    • Nobody tells you how much you’ll miss your family. It is beyond exciting moving out and having a place with your best friend but I never realized how much I would miss my family too. It was definitely an adjustment.
    • Being responsible for dinner and cleanup when you’ve had a bad day at work is tough sometimes. I’m so thankful I have a loving husband who shares the household chores with me.
    • I need to learn a new way to connect with God. My life is completely different and I’m still trying to figure out when the best time is for me to read my bible and connect with God. This one has been tough.

    So I’m sure there are so many more things that I could say but I will stop there. Being married gives me so much joy, but please don’t fall into the trap like I did that once you are married that everything will be perfect. Tommy and I have so much fun together but we’re both still sinners and we still fight and get on each other’s nerves. Marriage doesn’t fix anything and you definitely need to be ready for it for it to work well.

    I’d love to hear from you though. What do you remember about how much your life changed when you first got married? Or if you’re not married what do you think will be the hardest/easiest thing adjusting to?

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  • Faith,  Life

    Real Life

    May 6, 2016

    Have you ever woken up and wondered how your life ever got to be where it is? Good or bad. I woke up thinking that what God has done in my life is honestly just too good to be true. I felt like someone was going to walk into my new apartment and tell me that the joke is over now and that I have to go back home. I’ve been so excited to move out and get married and now that God is actually allowing it to happen it honestly feels too good to be true.

    Tommy and I had a long conversation after that about faithful God has been through this whole situation. I remember a time when we would sit and talk about how we needed God to show up when we told our friends and families about getting engaged. We really needed their support through it all and every single one of our friends and family members were so excited for us and that was only the beginning.

    Next came Tommy’s job. We prayed and wished for almost a year for Tommy’s dad to get him a job at the quarry where him and his brother work as welders. We knew that this was an essential part of Tommy and I being able to provide for ourselves. We knew that God would provide for us but we were worried it might be in a different way than we were envisioning for ourselves. So we prayed and hoped that this was the way that God was leading us and it turned out that we were right and that it was where God was leading us and it’s been amazing to see God open those doors for Tommy.

    Just when you think it’s over and that God did enough amazing things, He even blessed my work search. I was laid off in March and also knew that I needed to find a job so that we could continue to save for the wedding and to eventually be able to provide for ourselves when we moved out. It only took about a month of looking and I found a job – that paid more than my last one. It is only a temporary job but it’s just what I needed at the time and for that I am forever grateful. I know that when it comes time to look for another job again, when this assignment is over that He will provide in just the right way that our new little family needs.

    And so with all that being said maybe others can see why I feel that my life is just too good to be true. I want to tell everyone I meet how faithful God is and to know that He can and will do this for others too because He loves and cares for us. What about you guys? Has God ever shown up in such a way that you couldn’t believe that this was your life? Or do you have trouble believing that God could care about you in this way like I once did?

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  • Faith,  Life

    Learning what it means to be a Christian

    May 5, 2016

    Good morning! I’ve been up since 5 am and I already feel so accomplished (and a bit sleepy as well). I’ve been working on getting up early to have some more “me” time. It was actually one of my goals for April, although I did not have the time to post them here. It’s still a work in progress but I’m getting there and that’s what’s important. Once the wedding is over I feel like I’ll have so much more time to do things. Speaking of the wedding – it’s in just 17 days whaaaat?! God is just too good you guys.

    But anyways I don’t want this post to just be another ramble train about how excited I am to get married. I’d like to actually attempt to form a coherent message to share with whoever may be reading this. It’s something I’ve been struggling with/learning, like many of my posts tend to be.

    The thing that has been most on my mind lately is what exactly is God asking of me. Of all of us really. I used to think I knew what that was, I used to just try my best to follow all His rules and not try to sin too much and I thought for a while that that was the point of being a Christian but I’m not too sure now. I do think that is a huge part of it – by making an effort to follow God with our lives it shows Him and others where our hearts are. It’s my favorite way to love God. But lately that just doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like I’m missing something when it comes to following God.

    I’m not completely sure what that might be (if you feel like you might have a handle on this clue me in on what I’m missing?). But I think God wants more for us than just to set goals after goals (even though those are definitely good things). Maybe what I’ve been missing is I just need to love more. That’s sure what it feels like. Love my friends more. Love my family more. Love strangers more. I’m just not quite to sure what that looks like. I want to glorify God with everything I do and I think part of that is loving others well. I think that’s what I want to work on for the rest of the year – showing others the love of the father. I think that’s what it truly means to be a Christian.

    What does being a Christian mean to you? Have you ever sat down to really dwell on it like I have? What did you come up with? I’d love to know!

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