• Faith

    How my Psychology degree has hindered my walk with Jesus

    March 2, 2016

    So a little background about myself, in case you didn’t already know I graduated from college last May with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. Although this wasn’t my plan when I started school when I was fresh out of high school. (How do any 18 year olds know what they want to do with their life – someone please tell me?) Anyways, when I was 18 I thought I wanted to be a teacher because that’s what always felt right. I had always loved children, loved being around them, and taking care of them. So the logical thing in my 18 year old mind was to become a teacher. Because what else was there really?

    And this was my plan 3 years in even. I started taking teaching classes my third year of college I believe and it was then that it hit me – I didn’t want to be a teacher. I’m terrified of public speaking (even with those precious Kindergartners). I just knew this wasn’t what I was meant to do. I didn’t feel that I had the skills to do it well so I dropped the major. And in New Jersey when you’re planning to be a teacher you have to double major because apparently teaching isn’t really a degree anyway.. it’s a certificate. So my second major was Psychology, honestly just because those were the only classes I enjoyed taking in college so it seemed fitting.

    So here I am with a Psychology degree and still don’t know what I want to do with it, but that honestly wasn’t the point of this post. I wanted to share with you how learning about Psychology has actually hindered my walk with Jesus. When you take Psychology classes the point is to teach you why people do the things they do and learn how to help them. A lot of modern day helping is to medicate people so that they don’t have side effects of past traumas, which I definitely do think is necessary sometimes but not to the extent that our country does it.

    So I’ve learned a lot about myself through this classes, which is awesome and I’m so glad but I’ve learned recently that I have come to think it gives me an excuse for having the flaws that I do. And while yes it does kind of, it doesn’t give me an excuse to stay there. I have the hardest time confessing something after I learned WHY I’ve been doing it. For example, my mom raised my brother and I with a very critical spirit and has in turn passed that onto me. It is just who I am because it’s what I learned. And honestly do you know how HARD it is to change something that has been drilled into you for decades?? Very hard let me tell you, I’ve tried.

    So sometimes it’s much easier for me to stay hidden behind the ITS NOT MY FAULT excuse and go about my life just the way I am. Jesus loves me this way anyways right? Well yes, of course but what I’m learning is that I’m missing out on so so much by refusing to repent of these really hard things.

    I’m missing out on the intimacy of knowing Jesus and knowing how much He loves me and how much He has really forgiven me for. I’m missing out on intimacy with my sweet fiance who loves me enough to deal with my stubborn self. I’m realizing, though it’s hard, repenting of these sins is the only real answer to true growth and happiness with both Jesus and those closest to me. I don’t want to hide behind my excuses that I’ve learned through Psychology. I want to grow more and more into the likeness of Jesus, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

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  • Faith

    If you’re ever wondering if God can accept all of you, read this

    February 25, 2016

    You guys I am so excited to tell you that I wrote my first guest post this month. It was on my February goals and I’m so happy that I actually accomplished it. It went live today over at Wendy van Eyck’s site ilovedevotionals.com.

    Wendy is writing this whole year about how to live “well” and what that means. I feel that this is the first step for me to ever getting it right – realizing that God accepts me the way that I am right now, flaws and all. If I don’t I realize that then there’s no room for growth.

    If this is something you might be interested in reading more about, click here to read my post. I’d love to know what your thoughts are or if you have any tips for me in this area.

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  • Life,  Marriage

    In Between

    February 19, 2016

    My life is so weird right now. Honestly I don’t really know how to feel about it. Some days I am elated and can’t believe how amazing it is and how much God has done lately. Other days I am overwhelmed with the changes and miss the simpler days. It’s a confusing time really.

    I feel like I’m stuck in an in between in just about every area of my life. Mine and Tommy’s dating relationship is coming to an end and the beginning of a marriage is going to be starting just around the corner. It sometimes feels like my friendships are even at an end because I’m at such a different life stage than they are right now and it makes it hard to really connect. And my job is coming to an end and I have been passionately pursuing where God wants me next.

    So you see some days I miss the simple dating days where Tommy and I were just getting to know each other and everything was fun  and new and exciting. Other days I honestly cherish and love this stage where we were at too – knowing each other so well and getting to enjoy each other’s presence in such a different way.

    Some days I miss being able to bond over boy problems or too much homework with my girl friends. Other days I’m starting to love the new people God is putting in my life.

    Some days I miss having a steady job where I knew all of the ins and outs and had a routine down. Other days I’m excited for the start of something new and excited to see what God is going to do next.

    Some days I feel guilty for being overwhelmed, that I’m not trusting God the way that I should be. There are just so many changes and I’m doing my best and in the end I think that’s all God really wants. I’m going to look back on this time and really appreciate all the changes and what I’m learning through them. But for now I’ll enjoy the good times and cherish the times that I’m leaving behind. I’m stuck in an in between but couldn’t be more excited for whats just around the corner.

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  • Faith,  Marriage

    A New Normal (Part 2)

    September 22, 2015

    So I just wanted to drop in today and remind you guys how GOOD God really is. If you’re following along with my story at all you’ll have read my post back in July about how God really answered my prayers in an amazing way. Check that post out here if you missed it 🙂 Just to summarize in case you don’t feel like going back and reading, I wrote about how Tommy’s dad let him know that he would be able to get him a job at the quarry that he works at early next year, which ultimately meant for us that we would be able to start our lives together which was really exciting.

    I wanted to write this post today to tell you guys that today is Tommy’s first day at the quarry! I’m literally so excited for him and didn’t even realize how much bigger of a blessing this is than I had originally thought. I went back and read the post again and I had forgotten that Tommy’s dad had told him that he didn’t think he would be working with him until early next year.

    Tommy’s still working at the same job he was during the day, but is working on a special job at nights with his dad. The start of the special project is such a blessing to us because it made it possible for Tommy’s dad to get him the job there and it gives us the opportunity to save more money. I’m so insanely thankful for Tommy and his desire to work both these jobs so that we will be able to start our lives together. We’re both so so excited about the thought of it.

    Lately I have been feeling the presence of God so much and just know that this is exactly where He wants us to be. I’m so excited for my future and for where He is leading me. On a normal day, before Tommy started work with his dad we would hang out and have dinner together – if neither of us had plans with friends and now I’m not too sure when we’re going to have the time to hang out. It’s obviously going to be much less than were used to and I’m a little sad about this but know that it is more than worth the sacrifice.

    I’m going to use this time so really strengthen my relationship with Jesus and work on being the person He needs me to be. I also wanna strengthen my relationships with my friends as well. I want to spend more time blogging and start writing consistently. And I also want to start working out again. I also joined an online bible study – we’re going through the book of Ephesians and I’m really excited about that and starting tomorrow I’m attending my first ever small group! I’m equally excited and nervous about this. I’m a very shy person and have been putting off joining a small group because the idea of making friends is a little a lot scary to me if I’m being honest, but I feel like I’m in the place where I want to push myself outside of my comfort zone into greater things. I’m excited for this group because it is held at the house of the leader of the group that I serve on at church as well and I loved meeting this woman and the best part is that the group is going through a book that I already wanted to read on my own! That’s how I knew that this was the right group for me, and because they meet every other week so it’s a little less commitment and a little less scary than every week haha.

    But yeah, so that is where I’m at in my personal life – I would appreciate prayers for both Tommy’s job and the small group if anyone would mind praying 🙂

    What’s going on in YOUR life? I would really love to know and would love to pray for you as well. Leave a comment or email me – [email protected] ! I would really love to hear from you and be friends. 🙂

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  • Faith,  Marriage

    Why Marriage Is Not The Happily Ever After We Thought It Was

    September 17, 2015

    Now I’m not married or even engaged for that matter so I’m not sure if I’m truly qualified to even write this post but I’m going to attempt it anyway. It’s obvious based off my other posts that Tommy and I are pretty serious and that we even have been talking about getting married a lot lately. We both know that we want to marry each other, it’s just a matter of time and letting the details work themselves out. As with anything new that I am about to embark on I have been reading AS MUCH as I can about marriage because I’m the type of person who always wants to be prepared. My parents are also divorced and I want to learn as much as I can how to have a healthy, happy marriage since it’s not what I grew up around or know much about.

    The Most Important Thing I’ve Learned:

    Marriage is not meant to make you happy. Wait, what? Isn’t that what’s taught – no drilled into our heads since we were old enough to talk? Isn’t that what every Disney movie (with the exception of Frozen – Hallelujah!) is about? If you search hard enough, or wait around long enough, prince charming will come find you. And when he does, it’s going to be glorious and there won’t be anything left to worry about. You’ll have your happily ever after and everything will be perfect.

    But what happens when you wake up in the real world, next to a sinner – like yourself – and your prince charming does something you never would have imagined he would do? What happens when you’ve run into an issue in your marriage just two weeks in and you’re arguing all the time? Do you just give up because this isn’t what you thought married life was supposed to be like?

    I hope not. I hope you choose to fight more for your marriage than you fight with your spouse. I hope you are able to swallow your pride and apologize when you’re wrong. But more than that I hope you forgive – I hope you forgive even when you don’t want to, even when your spouse did something you thought you never could forgive them for. Because isn’t that what marriage is truly about?

    God gave us the gift of marriage to show us the beauty behind His love for us. It’s not meant to make us happy, it’s meant to make us holy. When we choose to get married, we are choosing to put someone’s needs before our own and sacrifice ourselves for another person. We’re choosing to put their happiness ahead of ours. We’re choosing to become more like Jesus. No wonder marriage isn’t the happily ever after we thought it would be. This is no easy task – I struggle with it already and I’m not even married yet.

    The most amazing part of marriage to me is the grace were expected to give to our spouses. When we say “I do”, we’re committing to extend grace through anything, no matter what. We’re expected to stare straight at our spouse’s weaknesses, the same weakness that have hurt us and say “Nope I refuse to leave, I’m staying and I’m still choosing to love you”. And the greatest part of it all is that we’re expected to do all this because Jesus has already done it all for us – and more!

    He’s looking at you right now saying “You – the messy, broken you that you don’t even like.. I want you. I want that part of you. Bring it to me and confess the brokenness – only I can heal you and I WANT to, more than you want to be healed. Come to me and I will give you rest.”

    This is why marriage is so glorious! Because we were made to reflect that beauty. We get to show that grace to another person – that even though you’re messy and even though you hurt me – I still love you and I still am staying no matter what. We’re set up in the perfect place to really put on display Christ’s love to not only our spouses but to the world around us and this is so so much better than any happily ever after the movies display for us.

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  • Faith

    A Secret About Your Fears

    August 15, 2015

    I felt like God wanted me to write about this specific topic earlier today but I reasoned with myself and told myself that I didn’t really feel in the mood to write at the time so I decided not to write about it.

    What I wanted to write though was that God has really been trying to show me the secret of why I fear things is because I picture the fear without God being there. 

    God’s really been telling me over and over again lately that He is always with me. And that this is the most important thing that I can remember, especially in those times that I’m worrying about something in my future. If I think back to my past, about the hard things I’ve gone through (and there have been a lot if I’m honest), and I realized that He was always there through all that, and that He is still here for me now, then I need to start picturing Him in the future as well.

    I just read my devotional, Jesus Calling for the day and I want to share it with you:

    Sit quietly with me, letting all your fears and worries bubble up to the surface of your consciousness. There, in the light of My Presence, the bubbles pop and disappear. However, some fears surface over and over again, especially fear of the future. You tend to project yourself mentally into the next day, week, month, year, decade; and you visualize yourself coping badly in those times. What you are seeing is a false image, because it doesn’t include Me. Those gloomy times that you imagine will not come to pass, since My Presence will be with you at all times. When a future-oriented worry assails you, capture it and disarm it by suffusing the Light of My Presence into that mental image. Say to yourself, “Jesus will be with me then and there. With His help, I can cope!” Then, come to the present moment, where you can enjoy Peace in my Presence”

    Once I read this I knew I had to write about it. This is the secret to conquering our fears. There’s no reason to worry about the future because He will be with us and He will give us the strength to get through whatever may cross our paths. What an awesome God we have.

    “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” –Deuteronomy 31:6

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