• Faith,  Life

    Overwhelmed

    Do you guys ever feel like you have one of those days where literally everything is wrong? Either there is something causing major stress in your life or a combination of bunch of small things that all feel so overwhelming? Well yesterday I had a combination of both of those things and to say I had a bit of a meltdown would be of an understatement.

    I am currently going through some family issues regarding my brother that is a major source of stress, along with the stress of planning a wedding, and having to find a new job come March of next year. All of these things got to me at the same time and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed to say the least. I admittedly took some of that stress out on my poor fiance – although he’s a saint and handled the situation amazingly, showing me how much he does love and care about me in the midst of my weaknesses. He’s honestly such a blessing to me, I can’t get over it.

    Honestly, even though I couldn’t help my feelings – I felt guilty for feeling all of the stress too. I felt that since God has blessed me so abundantly by allowing one of my biggest dreams of starting my own family to come true that  I shouldn’t be feeling stressed about anything and just should feel thankful. I feel like this is a common thing, I’ve heard other bloggers admit the same thing and I want to reassure anyone who may have felt the same way too that God is not mad at us when we feel that way.

    I’ve come up with a few things that I want to do to accept these feelings and also reduce them.

    • Accept the Feelings: I really believe that God does not desire for us to beat ourselves up when we do the wrong thing or choose the wrong attitude. Sometimes we are going to feel things that are messy and that we don’t think we should be feeling but God already knows who we are and He just desires us to go to Him with these feelings rather than keep them from Him and beat ourselves up over them.
    • Cast Your Cares: Which brings me to casting our cares on God. He sees us and cares about us more than we realize. He is near to the brokenhearted and desires to take those pains away from us –  but He can’t unless we allow Him too. What I realized today was that I was going to God with my feelings but I wasn’t trusting Him with them. I have no problem turning to God in my mess, it often is my first response but what I forget in that moment is that He cares. When I go to God and lay my worries at His feet, I need to leave them there. Not just turn right back around to pick them up and continue worrying about them. We can trust Him with our worries guys – He is good.
    • Live in the Now: I realize this is much much easier said than done but I want to be more diligent about living in the now. Not worrying about tomorrow or next week or next month. I think it’s helpful to plan for those things but when they become sources of stress for us this was never what God wanted. One way I want to reduce the stress of this is by recognizing the blessings in my life – to realize that God has given me things to be enjoyed now and realize I don’t need whatever it is I’m stressing about to be happy. I also want to get better at planning so that there isn’t much to stress about in the future.

    I know a lot of these are way easier said than done but I want to be more diligent about them to try to reduce the amount of breakdowns I have haha who’s with me? Does anyone else have a solution to those moments when everything just seems so overwhelming? I’d love to hear from you.

  • Marriage

    6 Reasons Why I Said Yes to Marrying My Fiance/Characteristics a Godly Husband Should Have

    I’m sorry to temporarily turn this blog into a marriage blog but I’m just so excited about the idea of marrying my best friend I can’t help but keep writing about it. Although I’m sure there will be many marriage posts to come, I want to assure you there will be others that do not involve marriage as well. Marriage just happens to be one of my favorite topics.

    I was reading an article before on what to look for in a husband (found here if you’re interested) and I can’t get over how much I hit the (future) husband jackpot. I wanted to share the list and also include how I see theses traits in Tommy – well for one to brag a little about how awesome my man is because I really do not let him know how awesome I think he is enough and also to encourage those of you who might be still looking for your husband. I’ve shared how I have compromised on this list before and it really did end badly and I want to encourage single girls that there really are men out there who do meet these standards and they are more than worth the wait.

    6 things not to settle on when looking for a husband followed by reasons why I love my fiancé 😉

    • Don’t marry a man with no ambition or courage: Tommy is one of the most ambitious guys I know. He works full time at a car dealership and then later comes home and lovingly serves me and a few times a week works with his dad to learn how to weld at night. He is smart with his money and makes responsible decisions that benefit our relationship.
    • Don’t marry a man who is not morally pure and morally strong, or a man who is inconsistent in his character, or a man who lacks spiritual, intellectual, or ethical depth: Tommy is a man who will not compromise his morals even when it is hard. He never pressures me into doing something that is against what God would want us to. Also, his love is sure even when I doubt him. He constantly assures me of his love for me which points me to God’s love that never changes.
    • Don’t marry a man who doesn’t have a life-plan that makes sense: Tommy has a few life plans that I seriously love. His short term plan right now is to become a welder and I am so excited to watch him grow in his plans with this because I just know he’s going to do so well. He also has a few long terms goals that I would love to see brought to fruition and am so lucky that he chose me to help him and be apart of them.
    • Don’t marry a man who is looking for a mommy: This one is kind of funny but I know that Tommy loves me for me and isn’t just looking for someone to have a family with. I know he respects me as a woman and really encourages me to use my strengths well.
    • Only marry a man who will love you sacrificially, will provide for you adequately, will grant you refuge consistently, and can be trusted explicitly: I touched on this before but Tommy really does love me sacrificially and is always observant as to how I am feeling. He constantly puts my needs before his own and he truly is a place of refuge for me. He is my safe place that I run to when things are rocky and just being near him makes me feel safe because of his unwavering love for me.
    • Only marry a man who has demonstrated in deep and passionate ways that he loves Christ, and wants to be a godly husband: This is the most important one. If Tommy didn’t love Jesus and wasn’t pursuing his relationship with Him first then he would never be able to do all these things well because Jesus gives us the ability to do things that He asks of us well when we are putting Him first in our lives. I know that Tommy loves Jesus because the choices that he makes shows me this. I also know that he wants to be a godly husband because he has already started showing me how he will be one by putting my needs before his own.

    If you’re struggling to believe that you could ever find a guy who would have these characteristics please know that I have been there too. I went through a really dark time, believing that God didn’t really care about what I wanted because He was making me wait but trust me when I say that the waiting process is so important and He will give you the desires of your heart if you honor Him first.

    When all you have is Jesus you learn Jesus is all you need.

  • Life

    A Little Life Update

    Hi friends. I just wanted to stop by and share a little bit about what I’ve been up to since we got engaged. I still plan to share our engagement story – I actually wrote it all out in my journal and just need to copy it into a post but I’ve been so busy.

    I really do have good intentions to start writing more often but I think I just need to postpone those goals just a bit until I am not so busy especially with planning a wedding now.

    What I’ve been up to:

    • The Monday after we got engaged I had my ring re-sized and they said it will take 2-3 weeks 🙁 I’m really hoping it’ll be back by Christmas so I can show my family.
    • Tommy and I have set a tentative date for the wedding – around May or June. We originally wanted to get married in June but the venue we are interested in only has the end of May open so that’s fine with us.
    • We visited the venue on Saturday and we really like it. We are going to go back next Saturday and hopefully set the date and book it.
    • Tommy and I both played hooky Friday and all weekend (shh don’t tell anyone). It was tons of fun and so sad to be back at work.
    • We started setting up our wedding registry! This has been the most fun. It’s so much fun getting to envision how our life will look once we’re married.
    • Oh! and Tommy bought a car yesterday!! Finally – we’ve been looking for one for him for months. This one is a really good deal so we’re really excited.

    I didn’t even realize how much we’ve done since we got engaged until I just typed it all out. This time in our life is so so exciting – I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy. I am incredibly grateful for how God has showed up in this time and continues to amaze me in all the ways he’s providing for me and showing me how much he cares about me.

  • Life,  Marriage

    GUESS WHAT?! I’M ENGAGED!!!

    Just dropping in to share the most exciting news of my life! I’M ENGAGED! I can’t wait to share how it happened but for now I just wanted to share about how excited I am.

    I am so completely overwhelmed in the best kind of way. We have received such an amazing amount  of love and support from all our friends and family that it just makes everything so much more amazing. I can’t get over just how great God has been to both Tommy and me. This is all just making me so excited for the wedding.

    Speaking of the wedding, no we don’t have a set date yet but we are shooting for June of next year if everything goes as planned.

    So yeah, that’s my amazing news. So happy to share with whoever might be following along with my little blog. I am beyond amazed at just what God can do when we allow Him to work in our lives. <3

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  • Life,  Marriage

    A Letter to My 19 Year Old Self

    This is a letter to an older version of me. One who had so much to learn- especially in the realm of love and marriage. This is also to anyone out there who thinks that all they need is a boyfriend or girlfriend to just be happy. To just have someone to love them for who they are. Know that you already do. You are far more loved than you can ever even imagine. I desperately needed to hear these words back then, and I hope they can help someone struggling with the same things I did back then.

    Dear 19 year old, you think you know what you’re doing, Ashley:

    I know how much your soul aches and I know how much you are misinterpreting the ache for what you think you need. Your desire for a man who will commit to you and want to love you always is so strong. I know how you think that this is what will truly satisfy but I want you to know how wrong you are.

    What will ultimately end up satisfying that ache is Jesus. The one you think right now is keeping you from the joy of a relationship. I know you think that if you choose to continue on in your quest for love on your own terms that you think your savior will abandon you- but how wrong you are, sweet one.

    Jesus will never abandon you. There isn’t anything you can say or do that will make Him love you any less. This is the kind of love you so desperately are dreaming for, if only you knew. I know you feel that you’re upsetting Him so much. I know all the shame you feel when you make a mistake and chase a guy instead of Him. Please know that there is grace upon grace. There isn’t anything you can do to make Jesus mad at you.

    Let go.

    Let go of how you think things should be. Let go of who you think you will be happy with. Let go and let God show you the way. It will not be easy and you will white knuckle your control at times, but it will be worth it- that I do promise you.

    The most important thing you will learn is that it is possible to be happy without a man in your life. When you feel like the one thing that you need isn’t there, you’ll learn that all you really do need is Jesus. You need to go through that to really understand it and trust me, you will need this knowledge in the future.

    If I told you now that God is going to make you wait two years until you meet the man that is going to be your husband, you would think that was the worst news ever. But let me tell you it is worth the wait.

    The man God has for you is far beyond anyone you can imagine and far beyond who you think he should be. He is the most loving, caring man you will ever know and everyday that you get to spend being his is a gift. He is patient with you like you’ve never experienced and loves you way more than I think you will ever realize.

    He will point you to God in ways you didn’t even know were possible. Everything will go against what you think should happen now though.

    Rest in the fact that God has you right in the palm of His hand and He will never let you go. Rest in the fact that He is all you need. 

    Xoxo, your much wiser, learned this the hard way, 23 year old self.

  • Life

    December Goals + November Goals Recap

    Better late than never right? I really wanted to get this up yesterday but let’s just say that yesterday was one of those days. You know, the ones where it feels like everything went wrong? I’m just glad that it’s over and now I can just get the post up today instead 🙂

    I’ve never done goals before but I thought it was a fun way to keep track of accomplishments and helps me to keep pushing myself to be better. I made a goals list about halfway through November but never posted them so I want to start by posting that and how I did with them and then list what I plan on focusing on for the month of December.

    November Goals

    Spiritual
    + focus on words you’re saying/listening wellI wouldn’t say that I did this as effectively as I wish I did but I did find myself stopping and trying to listen better a few times this month, which is a start.
    + focus on submitting –I still feel like I have a lot of work on this one.
    + spend more time in the word/journaling  -I spent a significant more amount of time reading my bible this month and I can tell it had a huge impact on my moods, the way I handled problems, etc.
    + find a time of day that works best to journal/read your bible -I wrote about the first day I tried reading my bible in the morning here and it didn’t go so well but I preservered after that and I’m so happy to say that I love love love reading my bible in the morning now. It’s easily become one of my favorite things to do.

    Health
    + workout twice a week -I did work out once a week since I started the goal which is an improvement but not quite what I was looking for. Tommy and I also set up a schedule to work out on Tuesdays and Thursdays so hopefully this will help keep us on track.
    + eat less refined foods -This one was hard to track because I don’t really know how much refined foods I was eating before making the goal to really compare, but I think I did a little better. I also bought a real food eating plan and course about what is good and bad and recipes to go along with it so I’m excited to start that.

    Reading
    + finish reading Love and Respect
    -Done! I wrote a review for it here- it was great!
    + read two other books -I started One Thousand Gifts but didn’t finish it.

    December Goals

    Spiritual
    + focus on words you’re saying/listening well
    + focus on submitting
    + continue spending mornings with Jesus
    + thank Jesus for “mundane” gifts
    + finish the advent she reads truth bible study

    Health
    + workout twice a week
    + eat less refined foods
    + do 5 lessons from real foods eating course

    Reading
    + finish One Thousand Gifts
    + read a book on submitting

    Relationships
    + focus on putting Tommy first more
    + focus on being more of an “intentional” friend

    Blogging
    + increase posts to three times a week