• Life

    Friday Introductions

    I’m going to take The Lady Okie’s lead yet again and use her blog topic idea for a few reasons.
    1. I have had a really crappy week and haven’t been feeling that great so if I write about what I normally planned to (Friday Favorites), then I really wouldn’t have very exciting things to write about. I really didn’t do much this week.
    2. The doctor told me to rest today and to stay home from work, but since this is technically my work I decided to do something fun and easy today. (As if Friday Favorites weren’t easy enough.)

    Hi friends, that would be me. I’m Ashley, if you didn’t already know that. Let me tell you a few things that you may not know about me.

    • I just turned 25 in January and am married to my best friend, Tommy who is actually two years younger than me, and just turned 23 in January (the day before I turned 25).
    • We got married May 22, 2016 and are still learning what it means to be husband and wife to each other, which is why I blog a lot about this topic.
    • I went to college for Psychology and ended up working at banks for 6 years before quitting my job this past December to be a stay-at-home wife/full-time blogger.
    • I live in Northern New Jersey and my favorite place in the whole world is the beach. My husband and I have high hopes of someday owning a beach house.
    • I have one younger brother and 4 dogs! (One of which is actually mine and will soon be able to live with us!)
    • I have big dreams for this little space on the internet and plan to open an Etsy shop, where I’m planning to crochet blankets, and some clothing. I showed a sneak peek on one of the items on my blog’s Facebook, so if you’re not following there and are curious to know, you can check that out here. 🙂
    • I love to cook, especially for other people, but am very shy and am working my way into being comfortable with hosting people. Once I’m more comfortable though I think it will be one of my favorite things.
    • I love to do crafts and create things with my hands, which is why I’m loving opening up an Etsy shop!
    • I try my best to eat healthy and live a healthy life, but it is just so difficult and takes so much time. I also think there is a balance to it all, and am okay with eating “unhealthy” foods too.
    • I grew up in a small town where we walked to school with our friends because there was no buses. After school consisted of playing outside with neighbors until it got dark and everyone had to go home.

    \\What else would you like to know? What are some fun things that people don’t know about you?

  • Wedding

    Zinhobls Say I Do: Reception Pictures

    Today I’m going to be sharing my Reception Pictures from our wedding. We chose not to have a DJ for the reception, and instead have the best man make the announcements. We chose to do this in hopes to have our reception feel more intimate since we only had close friends and family there. Our reception went so quickly but was so much fun. I think you can tell by the pictures!

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  • Faith,  Life

    5 Benefits Of Not Having Cable + Why We Chose This Option

    I’ve had the idea to write about the reason why my husband and I do not have cable in my Notes app on my phone for a few months now. I had it planned in advance to write it this week and I think it’s awesome that one of my favorite bloggers, Blair just wrote her own post about this too. I’m writing this post in hopes that if you are on the fence about either getting rid of cable or deciding whether you want it at all, you will be able to see the benefits of not having it and it will help make your decision a little easier.

    Why We Chose Not To Have Cable

    My husband and I made the decision not to get cable back when we were engaged. I will be completely honest and say that a huge part of the decision was because we wanted to live very frugally. We believe that God gave us everything we have, including our money, and we wanted to be as responsible as we could with it. (We do not at all believe that those who have cable are not living frugally though. It was just a personal conviction for us.) We believed that we shouldn’t have cable because 1) We didn’t watch TV all that much and 2) We didn’t mind watching the shows that we do watch a day after they aired online. We also admittedly do not watch sports or the news so that obviously made the decision much easier as well.

    The Benefits Of Not Having Cable

    1| We save more money (obviously!)

    If we were to have cable on top of our internet bill it would be probably close to double what we pay now. Considering we do not watch that much TV, it just wasn’t worth it and we enjoy all the money we now save because of it. 😉

    2| We spend more time talking to each other.

    Don’t get me wrong, we still watch some TV. We have Netflix and spend a good deal of time bingeing out in front of our favorite shows, but there isn’t a constant distraction going on in the background like there could be if we had regular cable. The TV is only on if we intentionally put on a show to watch. It goes right off after we finish watching our shows, which means that we talk more throughout our day.

     3| It creates a much more peaceful household

    Now I realize this is very much an opinionated statement. Some people I understand love the sound of having the chatter of a TV in the background of their home while they do chores. I however think it’s very distracting and I enjoy either the quiet or music in the background as I’m cleaning or doing other chores. To me this causes our home to have a lot more peaceful feel to it.

    4| It causes us to worship more

    The reason why I say this is because not having cable gives us a lot more control over what we are hearing throughout the day. I am choosing to either enjoy the silence, which usually causes me to pray more, or I am choosing to put on music, which a lot of the time is worship music. This causes me to have a closer relationship with God than if I had a TV on in the background instead of these things.

    5| We talk more with our guests

    Not having a TV to put on in the background while we have guests over makes us be a lot more intentional about entertaining our guests. I have been to some houses where the sole entertainer was the TV, which was not to say that we didn’t talk, but the visit was more centered around sitting around a TV than around a table. (This was mostly at family’s house.) We enjoy getting to sit around our table and be intentional with our guests and spend more quality time with them because we are not distracted or using the TV as entertainment.

    What About In The Future?

    We very much enjoy not having cable now and do not miss it at all, which leads me to believe that this will stay the norm in our household. However, one of the main reasons why we did not get it in the first place was because we wanted to live more frugally, so if we are making a lot more money and can very easily afford it, this could possibly change.

    It’s hard to say now how we will feel about TV when it comes to having children, since right now we don’t have any. We may change our feelings completely when we have children, but as of right now we very much enjoy not having cable and do not see a change to this in our near future.

    How do you feel about cable? Are you a die-hard fan or are you like us and have decided not to have it in your home? I’d love to hear your opinion on this topic. I feel like a lot more people these days are choosing to forgo cable altogether.

     

  • Faith,  Marriage

    How My Relationship With God Changed After Getting Married: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

    I have been married just over 9 months now and it’s been a journey to say the least. You can read hundreds of articles about getting married, and still be utterly unprepared for just how much your world is going to change. It changes in all different ways, some good and others… well I wouldn’t say bad, but definitely in some ways that you never expected that take some time getting used to. This is definitely how I feel about my relationship with God since getting married. I want to share with you all the ways it has changed: the good, the bad, and the ugly. (PS. This is a vulnerable post, please be kind.)

    The Good

    I know that the intro probably made it sound as if my relationship with God changed for the worst after getting married, but there are definitely still some good aspects to the changes as well.

    • I now have someone to pray with me all the time. My husband and I are still learning to be comfortable praying with each other, but it’s an awesome thing to be struggling with something and be able to ask Tommy to pray for me.
    • I have someone to remind me of God’s goodness when I can’t see it. Sometimes when you’re walking through something hard, it’s really hard to see God in the midst of it. Having someone walking through life so closely with you gives them the ability to encourage you and show you that God is right there with you even when you can’t see it.
    • Being married has caused me to grow my trust in God. I’m still learning to do this but I now have to learn to trust God with my husband. It’s not only my life that matters to me so greatly, but my husband’s as well. I had to learn to first trust my life in God’s hands and I am not (slowly) learning to trust Tommy’s life in God’s hands as well.

    The Bad

    Even though I am labeling these things as bad, I still know that God can and will bring goodness out of them.

    • I don’t spend as much quality time with God. I’m still working on the answer as to why this is. It’s very frustrating but I just don’t feel as close with God now as I did before. Maybe I just need to make more time for God so that there can be a better relationship, I’m not sure, but I am still working through this because I want to be closer with God again.
    • I don’t push myself outside of my comfort zone as much as I did when I was single. This is embarrassing but I subconsciously believed (and probably still do a little bit) that God would answer my prayers if I was being a “good Christian” and trying my absolute best to follow him. And while I know that this is not true, I realize now that when I was single I wasn’t quite as comfortable with my life and would push myself outside of my comfort zone more because I knew that was what God wanted. Now it’s much easier to stay in my own cozy life because I am much more content with it. I really want to start challenging myself more though because it is very important for my walk with God.

    The Ugly

    I just want to start this section off by asking that you please do not judge me for this. I realize that it is not good and am working my way through fixing it, which is why it is under the section labeled: The Ugly.

    • I don’t feel like I need God as much as I used to. Like I said I hate this about myself, but I’m writing it because it’s true and it’s been a struggle since getting married. Before I got married I felt like I very much needed God because I felt alone. Now that I have a loving husband to come home to it can be easy to turn to him for fulfillment or for him to solve my problems instead of God. I desire a closer relationship with God and to turn to him first though and I will keep confessing and fighting against this until I feel that I am no longer struggling with it.
    • I sometimes forget that God gave me my marriage and don’t trust him with it. While most of the time I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving to God for answering the biggest desire of my heart, sometimes I forget that he cares about this dream I have as much as I do. This is when I have to learn to trust him more, like I mentioned earlier, because I need to trust that he will protect my marriage. I guess because it is such a joy and such a big desire of my heart to be married, I am afraid of losing this dream, but I know I don’t have to be afraid and that I need to trust God more.

    Getting married completely flops your world upside down and I think that that is the reason why my relationship with God has also changed completely. I think it’s okay to admit that you aren’t where you want to be when it comes to your relationship with God, which is why I do not feel any shame for admitting these things. I do want to work on growing in my relationship with God, and my hopes with sharing this is to maybe help someone else who has felt like their relationship with God is different after getting married. Or at least encourage others to take a look at their relationship with God honestly and try their best to improve it.

    I’d love to hear from you! If you’re married, has your relationship changed from when you were single? Do you have any tips for me? If you’re single, do you think your relationship with God will change after you get married? How so?

  • Life

    A Day In The Life

    Hi friends. I hope you had a great weekend! I’ve been wanting to write a day in the life post for a while now, but I can never remember to take pictures for it. I decided to just use all of the pictures from over the course of a few days and try my best to show you what a normal day looks like for me. Although that’s tough in itself because I don’t usually do the same thing every day. But I will try my best.

    I’m also writing this post because I love reading other bloggers day in the life posts and because I want to document what my life looks like right now so I have it to look back on. I did another Day In The Life post back in September of 2015. You can check that out here, it’s so fun to look back and see how different my life is now!

    8:00-9:00 AM

    I usually wake up anywhere between 8 and 9. I’m trying to train myself to wake up earlier but it just doesn’t seem to be working right now, haha. So I wake up around then and always make myself coffee first then sit down at my desk and plan my day. On this particular day I spent 4 hours cleaning. I usually try to read or do yoga every day, but it definitely doesn’t happen that often.

    Next, I always spend time reading my bible and finish drinking my coffee. The way I’ve been doing this for the past year and half or so is just to read straight through the bible. I’m currently on Jeremiah and typically read 2 chapters a day. Sometimes I journal about what’s going on in my life, but usually only if I haven’t in a while or if something big just happened and I want to document it.

    Next, I’m trying to get into creating a habit of praying for Tommy right after I finish reading my bible. If I don’t do it right then, I usually will forget to do it. It’s been working too. I’ve prayed for Tommy the past few days because of this system. I use the prayer outline that I wrote here on the blog as a guideline. (You can find that here if you’re interested. I also have a How To Pray For Your Marriage guideline here.)

    9:00-11:00 AM

    I don’t have a picture for this part of my day but I usually will “get ready” and eat breakfast before I start working. I wrote about how important I found both of these things to be in this post. Basically every day I eat Cheerios because I actually hate breakfast, haha. I just eat it because if I don’t I feel really icky. Getting ready usually consists of me straightening up the house as well (making the bed, straightening up the living room, etc.).

    After I’m finished getting dressed and eating I will usually write a blog post. I try to stay at least one day ahead of schedule but sometimes that just doesn’t happen and I end up writing that day’s post that morning, which I’m learning to be okay with. I want to get better at this though because when I wait for the same day to write it, I feel so much more stressed. My day goes much smoother when I’m at least a day ahead of schedule.

    Oh and usually during this timeline I will also get caught up on reading other bloggers posts for that day too. This is one of my favorite parts of the morning!

    11:00 AM – 2:00 PM

    Yesterday during this time I made a grocery list and ran to the store because my cousin and her boyfriend came over for dinner. I stayed very busy and made this bread and banana bread for when they came over.

    I was listening to music the whole time I was cooking and it made it so fun. I already enjoy cooking so when I have some music to sing along to, I have so much more fun.

    2:00-5:00 PM

    Tommy came home around 2:30 and this is always the highlight of my day. I am obviously home by myself all morning so it’s a nice change of pace when he comes home. We talk and catch up on our days and usually eat lunch together.

    This day we had frozen pizza. Some days we have leftovers, and others we make breakfast. It’s really nice to be able to spend most of the day with Tommy.

    I then went back to cooking because I had to cook the actual meal for that night (since I had already made the bread and dessert).

    I was following a recipe off of my computer, which is very typical of me. For this night I was following the Beef Bourguignon that Jen Hatmaker wrote in her book For The Love. It wasn’t quite as good as she made it sound haha but it wasn’t bad. It could also have been because I didn’t have a dutch oven but oh well!

    This is what the kitchen looked like while I was cooking. We then cleaned up (Tommy did the dishes because I told him it was his turn because I had already done them 3 times that day haha and we do not own a dishwasher.) Then we relaxed for a few minutes until my cousin and her boyfriend came over.

    5:00-8:00 PM

    My cousin and her boyfriend were over. I didn’t take any pictures because I don’t like being the person to make people pose for pictures but I might have to get over that so I can better document my days. We ate dinner and dessert and just sat at the table for most of the night talking. It was really nice.

    This was what the yummy banana bread looked like. It was Cinnamon Streusel Banana Bread. I found the recipe from my all time favorite baker. You can find the recipe here if you’d like to make it. Oh and it’s also Paleo so it’s pretty healthy too!

    9:00-10:00 PM

    We had coffee and tea and then Nichole and Emil (her boyfriend) left. Tommy and I watched an episode of How To Get Away With Murder (we usually watch Netflix before bed) then headed to bed around 10ish.

    I wouldn’t say this is a typical day for us since we don’t usually have guests over for dinner, but everything besides that part of a day is a typical day so I guess it’s kind of close to what a usual day would look like. The morning was a very standard one for me and we 99% of the time end the day with some Netflix.

    What does your typical day look like? If you have a blog written like this, share the link below. I love reading about other people are up to and how similar (or different) their day is from mine.

  • Faith

    If You Feel Like God Is Ignoring You, Listen To This Song

    I know I have written here time and time again about how I struggle with anxiety. It seems to ebb and flow as the weeks come and go. This week seems to be much better than last and for that I am thankful. I feel like I had a break in the intensity of my anxiety about 2-3 months ago. It felt all-consuming back then and I wanted to share with you one of the main reasons that helped me stop feeling so anxious. It was something as simple as a song.

    A Break In The Silence

    This song came on my Pandora on a day that I was really struggling with feeling anxious. I was in my kitchen, probably doing dishes, and the words caught me off guard.

    “Oh, O’Lord O’Lord I know You hear my cry.”

    It was these words in particular that did it. You see at this particular season of struggling with anxiety, it felt all-encompassing because it had come and go for what felt like forever, but in reality it was probably a couple of years.

    When I heard these lyrics I was reminded that even when it feels like all hope is lost, God hears me. It was a reminder my heart needed to hear in a huge way. I felt like I could keep fighting as long as I knew God was on my side. For a while, I felt so alone and not in touch with God at all. It felt like he was ignoring my cries for help. Until I heard this song. It was then that I knew he was right there with me. He had heard my cries.

    There Is Hope In Suffering

    These lyrics also reminded me of these verses about how suffering is not forever. It was this all together that gave me hope and just helped me look at my situation differently. If this is you, I want you to know that God hears you too. Even when it feels like he is silent. He’s there and he’s carrying you through the storm. I don’t know when it will let up, but I do know that it will. Please hear me when I say that. Whatever you are going through is not forever. And God will work it together for your good.

    A Prayer For The Trial

    Heavenly Father, Sometimes we can’t feel you here with us. We know that you are here, but sometimes what we are going through just clouds our vision and we have a hard time feeling your love in the midst of it. Please forgive us for this, because we know that it isn’t that you actually aren’t here. We know that you are for us, always, but please help us turn to you and cast our cares on you. Please help us to see your goodness that is likely right in front of us. Help us to focus on the good, rather than this trial that feels never-ending. God, we need you so desperately, please help us to feel hope and remind us that this trial is not forever. Show us your goodness and helps us to walk through this faithfully. Thank you for all of the ways that you have helped us and continue to help us. We love you. Amen.

    I’d love to pray for you specifically if you need prayers. You can either leave me a comment or email me if you don’t feel comfortable leaving a comment. (My email is in my Contact tab.) Love you guys.